Self Care – A gift from a client known as A

Posted by Rosie Plunkett – Thursday, March 31st, 2016

 

My purpose today and every new day is to ‘manage my emotions’. 

Calm and satisfied emotions gives me peace of mind, a good state to offer a client.

In my archives I have a recording of my client A reading from the “Instructions for Life” from the Dalai Lama’s “Comments On The Millennium”.  Sadly the reception is poor as it was recorded in the spur of a moment during a treatment session, however if I strain my ears I can hear his every word.

The one instruction today that really stands out of this recording is:

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

I have willingly given up ‘being shy’ of sharing my opinions to a wider audience for

fear of rejection.

Rejection is a powerful emotion and when I gave it ‘no power’ to harm me, I feel so liberated from voluntary silence and speak my truth with greater freedom.

Rejection has such a deep impact on our general well being, a unsatisfied need to belong, will inevitably lead to problems in our behaviour, it will increase levels of anxiety and depression as it is directly proportional to the level of rejection we perceive.

In my experience I have found that those who have been rejected will suffer from more negative emotions, and have less positive emotions than those who have been accepted until of course they start to make a change.

Having poor relationships and being more frequently rejected can shorten our lives. As long as a decade after a marriage ends, divorced women have higher rates of illness than their non-married or currently married counterparts.

The immune system tends to take a major impact when a person experiences rejection, more colds and flu and time of work. This can cause severe problems for those with diseases such as HIV One study by Cole, Kemeny, and Taylor investigated the differences in the disease progression of HIV positive homosexual men who were sensitive to rejection compared to those who were not considered rejection sensitive.The study, which took place over nine years, indicated significantly faster rate of low T helper cells therefore leading to an earlier AIDS diagnosis. Interestingly, they also found that those patients who were more sensitive to rejection died from the disease an average of 2 years earlier than their non-rejection sensitive counterparts.

The systolic and diastolic blood pressure readings increase upon imagining a rejection scenario.Those who are socially rejected have an increased likelihood of suffering from tuberculosis as well as dying by suicide. Rejection and isolation were found to impact levels of pain following an operationas well as other physical forms of pain.

We reject our own needs mainly out of habit, how many times in a day to do hear folk say “I haven’t got the time…..”We have the time but we choose to be victims of our own old habits! Carers and therapists are very good at caring for others but can be hopeless at looking after themselves.

Where does this leave us knowing rejection is harmful? Where can we go from here?

• By acknowledging this fact we are making a change
• Book a session of Clinical Reflexology it gives you space to unwind, respect your needs
• Make twenty minutes a day to be in silence this will detach us from the speed of the day and give valuable down time.
• Consciously focus on your breath – take ten breaths from the diaphragm, breathing through the nose as this will detach you from the emotion and help keep you grounded.
• Take the risk of staying with the fear and start looking for the silver linings ( they are always there, always) from the discomfort as it will lead you to the lesson behind the emotion.
• Take 7 drops twice a day morning and evening for 14 days of Australian Bush Flower Essence Sturt Desert Pea. This flower is the floral emblem of South Australia. It is for deep hurts and sorrows. At least three Aboriginal legends connecting this flower to grief and sadness. This is one of the most powerful of all the Essences and once you start using the essence it works very fast and, like so many of the Bush Essences, it can you bring about amazing changes in your life. Negative Condition: • emotional pain   • deep hurt  • sadness

            Positive Outcome: • letting go  • triggers healthy grieving

• releases deep held grief and sadness

Make 40 minutes to listen to Glenn Harrold’s Solfeggio Sonic Meditation that resonates to a frequency of 417z. This particular frequency works to dissolve emotional patterns and imprints from the past and facilitate positive changes. It will also help to clear other emotional patterns, such as low self-esteem, self-rejection, overindulgence, jealousy and emotional instability, all of which exist within the same vibrational energy.

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Let me bring you back to A, my client. He aimed to live by the values quoted by the Dalai Lama ( see complete list below) and was a very wise gentleman and for me he lives on in my memory each time I follow his lead.

In my experience each client gives their wisdom not only to me but to every other client in the practice. Do you agree or disagree?

Instructions for Life

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s
4. Respect for self
5. Respect for others
6. Responsibility for all your actions
7. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of    luck.
8. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
9. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
10. When you realise you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
11. Spend some time alone every day.
12. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
13. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
14. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
15. Live a good, honourable life.Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
16. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
17. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
18. Share your knowledge.It’s a way to achieve immortality.
19. Be gentle with the earth.
20. Once a year, plan to go some place you’ve never been before.
21. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
22. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

 

Conclusion: Self Care and learning on the job is a wonderful tool to keep us connected and safe.

 

I now invite my fellow members and the general public to give me feedback as a contribution for on-going discussions.

For future publications share your own articles of interests and topics that maybe of interest to clients and therapist’s alike: 

I have shared my personal interest in this article with you and it does not reflect my position on the CAR board.

 

Email : rosieglow3@me.com